What Hurts the Most

At least, that's how I used to feel. The time-skip is over, right?

I don't quite realize it yet, but I'm so glad we're friends again. This, in itself, is a miracle - it's not something either of us deserved, or could expect. My prayers for your restoration are being answered, and now my heart longs for reconcilliation too. 

Yet, I think I know better now, not to build my dreams upon such hopes, though they are far better than those vain imaginations which still plague me. This time, I'll try to do things God's way, and I hope you'll do so too. I don't have to put up facades anymore, or pretend you need me. You don't, and even if I want to say that I am the one in need, that would be a lie too. We both need God, and only Him.

I can let go of the fear of losing you. If you leave because of my weaknesses, that's just fair. I'm not going to be worth the hurt I cause.. but this I am trying to believe, our God never forsakes.

At a time when I would consider you 'ready', I see that I am not. Patience.