Hesitant..

we're all haunted by the past..
we always dream of the future..
yet time is so real only in the present


Yesterday's KSS Bible study was refreshing. We examined Genesis 30; the story of how Jacob's family and wealth increased. Unfortunately we didn't go into the applications. I wonder what we might have said, given that the current talk is all about matchmaking so the church will have a next generation of babies. heh.

Regarding matchmaking, I believe this is a good time as any to type a few words on it. It is really a queer situation that in our reformed churches we're being advised to date (if I may add, much like how our Government is telling Singaporeans to do so too). In the recent past, the advice was to stop dating around and settle down, but now our youths play carefully. Too carefully, perhaps lacking trust in God's favour.

I've long wanted to type such thoughts down, but I know it's awkward for me to do so seeing as I'm hardly qualified to give advice. Instead, let this be a presentation of my principles. If I may proceed.. In looking for a potential spouse, the following two criteria must be met:

1) S/he must be walking with God: I won't elaborate on the reasons, but I will say it can be hard to tell. Obvious signs are: good Bible knowledge, participation in church, character.
2) S/he must get along with you. As personality compatibility is a major component here, matchmaking has to do with this. Face it, this is a criteria, because you're going to have to live with your spouse for God-knows-how-long.

Beyond this, if sparks are to fly, there must be Means, Motive, and Opportunity (as adapted from Sherlock Holmes' recipe for a crime). I would like to see means as the ability of a person to charm another. Motive is what we lack, many youths don't see any pressing need to become attached (or not enough to take a bit of risk), though 'Be fruitful and multiply' can be good enough a motive. I admit too that opportunity is a problem, because many of the youths in church spend more time outside with other friends.

okay, I'm definitely better at pointing out problems then providing answers, but I believe that we must be awake to the second criteria, because that helps us see the reality about us. The MMO framework can be a tool for troubleshooting so effort can be put into a relationship. Above all, I believe God prospering the relationship above other friendships is the best confirmation that we have found our helpmeet.


Anyhow, after church camp next week, some people are intending to go holiday at Lake Kenyir. Initially I didn't mind joining the group, but now I've decided against it because [1] it's really too far [2] it's not worth spending only a day there [3] I need to rest up for my next posting [4] the place is expensive.

My feet aren't well yet, but I've gone walking around anyway. Went to look for some clothes but as usual bought little - only 2 pieces, and cheap too. I'm starting to move away from my typical black shirt. I preferred wearing black because it's a no-brainer: a colour for almost every situation.. but it's really quite dull.