the winds return

Vanity. Though I see it, I am still swept away by it. Surely all flesh is like grass, and the fullest leaf will not last forever.

I've fallen sick again. Funny thing about stress is that no matter how aware one is of it, one cannot free their mind from anxiety. Then immunity goes way down, and once the illness begins, everything takes a turn for the worse.

For the sake of archiving. It began after a few weeks of stress. I should try not to talk a lot if my hydration state is low. So a sore throat was triggered. A day later flu had set in, and a mild fever thereafter. The sore throat went away on the third day, but returned as a cough with green phlegm. Mucus was green, too.


I still can't let go of the past. I feel like I have to, but then again I've got very few reference points. There's so little experience in handling interactions. What's wrong, what's right, what's appropriate, what's new?

Some say that people often choose to do nothing lest their pride gets hurt. I think I've gone beyond that: I'm scared to do anything because I might lose a friendship. Yet that means inadvertently we grow apart. I hate it when nobody else takes the initiative; but is it just me, or the current culture?

I won't look at time and effort spent on people as investments anymore. When we give, we do not expect returns. The only problem is.. what do I have to give?